Failing

 Credit: Photo by  Volkan Olmez  on  Unsplash

Credit: Photo by Volkan Olmez on Unsplash

Have you ever failed before? How would you define failures? Well, everyone has their own definition about it. Like me, my failure at the moment is failing to get into a faculty that I've been dreaming of. Getting into Fakultas Seni Rupa dan Desain, Institut Teknologi Bandung, has been my ultimate dream. Therefore, failing the entrance exam to the faculty becomes the most terrible thing that ever happened currently.

I thought that I've been very lucky for passing the UN, doing good enough on final tests, getting into Universitas Trisakti. But, turns out a positive mind and optimistic willing aren't enough. Turns out, I'm just not that strong enough to face my own failures, especially when the time has come. I've never really thought about it, because it all seemed like I always got what I wanted. Now I got it all hard and ugly.

I was suddenly thinking I really didn't worth all the achievements I've been dreaming of. I've been wanting to get into a great university like Universitas Indonesia, Universitas Gajah Mada, or Institut Teknologi Bandung. But, then I was afraid about the possibility to face other failures in the future. Afraid to see other test results. Afraid to be upset by the results.

Up until I happened to find a quote that then have saved me from the mourning thoughts.


Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It’s probably worth it.
— Richard, "The Beach" (2000)

We would dream, try, and fail. Then we would try again and fail again, repeatedly. We would dream, but if time would want us to learn, then we have to learn to be able to try again. Hoping for it to be bittersweet. We're just human after all and, no matter what, we had been destined to fail a lot. Because life is about having the strength to start over. We sleep in the night and wake up on the next morning, to start over a day. While days are passing, those are all just the same: a day. A moment. So, if we fail today, there would always be another day. Another moment when the thin thread of hope would happen.